BEA or bust - Part 6

BEA or bust -
The trip to Book Expo 2008

Day 5 - the Expo - 5 am


Eli and I have gotten into the swing of things. We are friends with the folks in the neighboring booth. We are talking to everybody - Expo-style. And we have a plan for dinner that does not involve French accents or overpriced peas.

The frogs are living it up, front and center on our table. It appears that they, not I, are they stars of this little dog and pony show. Booth visitors want to know if they can win a frog, touch a frog, or just stay and gaze longingly at them. Occasionally, someone speaks to me or to Eli.

But all this is just fine. It frees me up for a run to the Coffee Bean up the street while the frogs hold court at the booth. I am not yet sick of Mocha Ice Blendeds. I’ll have to start drinking more, even though I am already at two per day.

As far as the booth stuff goes, Eli and I are holding up better today. Maybe we have better shoes or we have acclimated or maybe it’s just time to buck up - but we aren’t quite so whiny today. Or maybe we are just a little afraid of the uber-bright clown down the way or the creepy man that looks like a cross between a body builder and Colonel Sanders.

God! I promise I’ll be good. I’ll even go check out the writer who claims he’s conquered the black, homosexual angel fantasy genre (more power to him, maybe he has!) But please God, keep the clown away.

There are other writers, and other publishers here. For miles and miles. But we are in a booth near the creepy clown and the guys selling multicultural children’s stories (with clowns! Save me!)

There is a man hawking a cook-book for men with food to “make her panties drop”. So the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach, and so is the way to a woman’s . . .

There is the “Little Jake” or “Little Will” or “Little Somebody” or other series. These books are about a small boy with a big arsenal and he kills lots of wild creatures. With glee. These are books for kids.

I find a book of teenage love poems. I have to say I am sucked in, and even find one entitled “Lorraine V.” - which just happens to be the name and initial of a good friend of mine. I know she will be thrilled to have a poem about her that involves the words “water fountain”.

All of this wildness is tempered with random trips to the nearest Coffee Bean. I have suckered new friends from various other booths to trek to the Bean with me. I have made converts (take that, Starbucks!). However, I am always the one to make the half mile trip on foot. It is actually longer to go by Metro - as is often the case in LA. And half the trip is just what it takes to get out of the Convention Center. Eli doesn’t go, using such excuses as ‘but you already know where it is. I’d hate to get lost.’ ‘No, I don’t need one right now, but if you are going, bring me back a medium.’ Or ‘You and Bruce could talk, what would I say?’ Oh yes, Eli has a bag full of excuses not to walk. But Eli always gets an Ice Blended in the end. Yeah, I was slow on the uptake on that one, too.

Still, the Expo has been fun, if exhausting. We are champs at showing people ‘How to Disarm a Mafia Hitman’ - the sideshow we were running based off research from my book Vengeance. The four frogs of the apocalypse have been rotated until their eyes spin (I didn’t know frogs could do that. Hmm, learn something new everyday.) And it is at last time to take down our banners and abandon our corner of the Expo.

I bleed again for my craft. I bleed from the same shower-hook/banner-holder that I bled from the first time. The only thing new is the band-aid. Yup. I’m definitely a savant.